Monthly Archives: August 2013

Bedtime reminiscing

This entire summer I can not go to sleep unless I am “sedated” by movies or TV series until I drift off to crazy dreams. The thoughts of the past; the “way things were” are just overwhelming. The thoughts of depression, loneliness, empty life, meaningless, health problems, family problems, relationships problems…the list just goes on and on…

This is the first night that I actually said, NO MORE. I have no more willingness to dull my mind. There are problems in everyone’s life. You can not go forward, unless you face that you have problems. But laying in bad and watching everything there is to watch is just…contributing to the problems. The more you dull your mind, the more depressed, worthless and lonely you become.

I hope I'm never that wrong again

I have read a quote I have written in my diary over a year ago and it said: “You can only reach the top of the mountains you have faced with” That doesn’t mean that you have to reach all mountain tops, or that you can not back down from some mountains you just do not want to climb anymore. It just means that you have to choose your battles, but you have to stay fighting until the end of them!


Now, here is where the reminiscing part starts: The times I have fought and won! There aren’t any better bedtime stories, than the ones where you are the winner. The body-exercise victory and routine; the incredible bonds build with friends; the hard work done, along with the praise received afterwards, all the exams and studying that brought astonishing results; all the volunteering done for the well-being of people;  …


You go to sleep feeling you can beat a dragon with one hand, doing your PhD with the other one. Than you begin imagining yourself climbing the mountains that you have left behind. Imagine the mountain top. The sun on your face. The wind blowing through you. Your red cheeks and nose; and your wised eyes…


I love that I have started hoping again. I know that it can be done, if I do the work. The job, the family, the relationships, but most importantly my health, everything can be improved. Just have to keep focused on those mountain tops while remembering the past victories for motivation to staying on the (up)right path.

Hope again faith healing fogiveness