Tag Archives: friends

Missed Birthdays

For one day in a year, I become selfish. I want to have everyone call me, think of me, send me the warmest of wishes and love. I want my friends and family to make effort when choosing their words (and gifts) around me, and I want to be the happiest person in the world. Yes, it’s my birthday and I want to be the center of attention!

Every year I say that I will not make a big deal out of it. I’m not that young anymore, I don’t have that extra money to spend on one party, I just don’t feel like making a big fuss. But than the day comes and my best friends are the first to call and ask “So where is the party?”…and I have to have an answer. This year, it was so impromptu, that I just bought couple of bottles of gin and fresh mint and made the best mojito party there is! 

Yet, the next day you start thinking who did not came/call/wished(singed) “Happy Birthday”. Did they forgot? Have I forgot to call them? Should I have had invited them anyway? Should I call them now? Eventually, time goes by and you forget about these questions.

However, the time comes when they have their own special day. These days, with the notifications, Facebook or Skype is hard to forget or ignore someone’s birthday, but when you are doing a huge project, thoroughly immersed in the work,  or are out of the country, or life(and it counter part) just halts you in your every-day tasks,  these things happen!

I wished so many belated birthdays to friends and family members in the past few months, people start to wonder if I’ve become forgetful or ignorant! And the birthdays I miss the most are the ones of the great people of the history of the world, when I read a book by a famous writer (Victor Hugo, 26th of Feb Les Misérables or Charles Dickens, 7th of FebOliver Twist) or listen to great music (Mozart-27th January, Bob Marley-6th Feb, Norah Jones- 30th March, Marvin Gaye- 2nd April) or watched a great movie or documentary for an artist, scientists, sportist etc. 

I’ve missed so many events, birthdays, celebrations and moments of leisure and fun. Just now , looking back, I can see the sacrifice I have made. Sometimes you have to ask yourself if it is worth it. But for this…for now…I think it is.

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Something unusual

My daily routine is something I have been working on for years. I have made for myself morning and evening rituals, periods of the day when I would drink tea, or drink coffee, when I would eat lunch, call my parents and grandparents, walk my dog etc. Incorporating the time spent on work and study would fit always, as I have plan B and C for anything.

But this year I’ve decided to finish my studies as a transfer student, far faaar away from home. It took great deal of building up confidence, facing challenges and ex-professors, admin, people who said it was a waste of time, but I got through it all and stick with my idea for quite some time. So, my routine got a bit different since the beginning of this year. I wrote essays, edited, rewrote, searched scholarships, translated the documents and worked.

The last deadline for the last application was March 1st. I have worked so hard right until the deadline that I got lost the next week! Suddenly I had too much time on my hands and no to do lists for the day, the week even the month! And what happens when you have no to dos? You become depressed, you get stuck in your head, you make up the stories for the up-come of your work, your future, your past work, “What could I have done more? Should I have done this differently? Would they notice? Would they like me? “…. And the circle goes round and round.

But then, one day, you get an email telling you have your first acceptance! Unbelievable that is so soon, that much, that I forwarded the email to my family and my closes friends to ask them what it means! You see, my biggest problem is my lack of self-confidence. But once I get some recognition, I strive and reach higher then I would ever imagine before.

It was unusual to fall back from my routines and rituals for a whole month, but now it’s incredible unusual how easy it is for me to get back on track because of a motivation as little as an email!

Thank you University of San Francisco! You made my day, my week, my month and perhaps my year 🙂 I can now go to sleep knowing that I have many things to finish on my to-do list tomorrow 🙂 Good night everyone, thanks for reading 🙂  

Say thank you more often

Say thank you more often

Last week I had so much work, that I had to ask help from my friends. I could not believe the feedback I got! I usually never ask for help, as I don’t want to take anyone’s precious time, but I always offer my help to everyone. This time, I understood the importance of asking for help, as I could not have finished the amount of work on time, if it wasn’t for my friends! As soon as I completely finished the work and sent it, I send thank you notes to everyone who helped me.
Of course people will say “Oh, come on! It was nothing!” But always be grateful for their help and always ALWAYS tell them!
I would not have done it without you! Thank you!

Be happy with what you already have and really OWN what you HAVE

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Although I do not live in the US, and do not have tradition to celebrate Thanksgiving on this day, I can’t help but feel the excitement over this holiday from the Internet. In my country, we have a day, similar to Thanksgiving, where we ask for forgiveness and show our appreciation to the people in our lives. However, I do not believe in having just one day like this. We should be thankful for what we have, and who we have in our lives EVERYDAY! 

I am especially concerned about the possibility of not-being thankful for the people we have in our lives already, and dismissing them if they do something wrong, or if they change in any way. It’s the mentality of our new generation, to “buy it new” when the old one is not working, instead of trying to fix and upgrade what we already have

Yes, I am talking about broken relationships with family, friends, partners, colleagues, neighbors. The relationships we have forgotten of; the family we do not like because of their religious or political beliefs; the neighbors we do not say Hi to and hide from because they smell of Sauerkraut every time we see them; or the friends that became depressed since they got fired and make us depressed when we talk to them.

You can have many people in your life, I’m not talking about not being friendly or communicative to others. No, I’m talking about cherishing the ones you already have in your life! I’m talking about understanding where they come from, and helping them in their journey. I’m talking about not giving up on the ones who feel lost or confused. I’m talking about LOVE! Unconditional love to everyone that are a part of your life!

So often we say “Oh, we are not in touch anymore, I don’t know what happened, but she just lost her way and I can’t be around people who are lost!” But we don’t know the whole story. We don’t try to help. We don’t remember all the good times and make sure they remember it as well. Sometimes, people need to hear the positive. Sometimes, all we need to do is smile! Sometimes, all people need is LOVE!

So, I beg you, at least today, don’t dismiss your grandparents, or your aunts and uncles sitting at your Thanksgiving table; don’t roll your eyes when they ask you questions you don’t want to hear; don’t be nervous or wishing you were sitting with someone else in that moment. LOVE YOUR FAMILY and FRIENDS and the ones who are spending their time with you. Don’t give up on them, because, if it was the other way around, you wouldn’t want them to give up on you!

 

I read this somewhere on Facebook, and I thought it would fit in this post. I hope you’ll be inspired and more thankful for the people in your life today!

Brad Pitt about his wife:

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My wife got sick. She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and children. She lost 30 pounds and weighted about 90 pounds. She got very skinny and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs. She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the mornings and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of a break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon… But then I decided to act. After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on earth. She is the idol of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her. I began to shower her with flowers, kisses and compliments. I surprised and pleased her every minute. I gave her a lot of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends. You won’t believe it, but she blossomed. She became better. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she CAN love that much.

And then I realized one thing: the woman is the reflection of her man.

If you love her to the point of madness, she will become it.

Brad Pitt

The night out

“Come on, hurry up!” I hate when everyone waits for us. Unlike some girls that like to make a big entrance when going to a party and to have everyone look at them, I am shy! I don’t like to be the one everyone looks at. I usually hide behind by boyfriend, he likes to be the center of attention and greets everyone in a “Taa-daa” sort of way.

“We are not being late for the Queen, it’s not like everyone is going to wait for us to have a cocktail!” he argues with me. He is always late. And he has a point with that one. Again, I hate when he has a point. I just don’t like tardiness!

keep calm it's only a night out

“Give me the keys, I want to drive” “No way, you’re going to drive me crazy again before a party!” “Oh, come on, you can play the radio and chill” …this goes on for few minutes as we walk to the parking lot. At the end, he always wins and drives as there is no other car on the street….or pedestrians…or dogs and cats passing through…or…whatever.

We park the car and walk to the pub, me leaning against him and holding onto his arm, he looking around for cars and bicycles as we pass the streets and paths. I like this part when we both start preparing for laughter and fun. We recollect some memories of our friends that await us and about things that happened to them recently that we ought to ask them about.

As I see my friends there, I slowly let go of him. I lit up while talking to my besties. Feeling the love and respect we have for each other, always defending our acts or attitudes

“But of course you should have taken the last bite from that cake!”

“How dare they measure your suitcase, losing your precious time at the airport”

Than we laugh at the silly things that have upset us in the past.

dancing sillies

After a while, he comes looking for me. We laugh together and I love that my friends love to hang out with him. More than few drinks after, my head starts to become blank and I’m laughing at everything, while closing my eyes more and more.

So, the night ends, we are going back to the car. I always keep a blanket in the car, and this is the perfect time when I use it. He wakes me up when he parks the car. We go into the bedroom and I just collapse on the bed. I laugh at everything again and he laughs with me.

Falling in sleep with laughter is the perfect ending to a night out!

happy couple

Crafting an Effective Writer, assignment from week 3

crafting an effective writerAs the results are open, and I had such a great feedback from this one, I wanted to share the story in here. Hope it will be enjoyable for everyone, as it was for the peers who asses it.

I sit here quietly on the bench. I hold my breath and watch the still lake through the luscious tree cones. Than I came back to reality. My friends make lunch in the kitchen today, but they can not stop fighting! I close my eyes, wishing I could get lost in my head and distance myself from the surrounding, but I can not.
Who put the chicken in the big pot? Who turned off the stove? Is the water still running? Who cut the cucumbers so fat?!
I had to get up and fireproof the situation. Maya, you take care of the salads. John, wash the pots clear out the mess. Ben, you are such a great cook, figure out what to do with the chicken and make sure you turn off every appliance after you finish using it.  I will set the table, and find some wine to go along with the chicken. Oh, and Christina, you know you do not belong in the kitchen, please get out of it before you break something. Why don’t you do, what you do best, and choose some upbeat cheerful music we can all sing along to and have some positive vibrations stirred again in this cabin? You can help me out afterwards in clearing up the table for the card games. OK?
Everyone smiled and started to work. After few seconds, Alanis Morrisette told us how Ironic we can be, through the speakers. And just few seconds after, Christina found the microphone, and decided she should tell us the same thing herself.
It turned out to be the best day in the cabin ever! We all sing our hearts out, danced and posed in front of our cameras and dressed out in the most hideous clothes imaginable! The chicken tasted plain and dull, but Ben made the best vegetarian lasagna as a side dish, that just blew our minds.
I will always remember this weekend! We all will remember it. And we all will want to come back here and add new memories.

Unconditional frendliness

The interesting thing about friends is that we always seem to lean on the ones we feel comfortable with and we do not need to protect ourselves from feeling vulnerable around them. We can be ourselves. We can be tender or tough, sarcastic or compassionate, acrimonious or  pleasant; yet they will not leave our sight. They understand us, snap us out of feeling sad or fear and they reinforce our confidence and self-believe.

Yet, we do not try to become this person, a friend to ourselves! Most people run away of an empty room, trying to find place full of people or at least, going online and hurrying into tangling with acquaintances on the social networks as fast as they can.  But this habit makes us cold and furtive. We run away from own being, following this daily pattern in carrying away our brain to be stuck in the outside, not allowing it to enlighten and bring freshness to our life. 

It is not difficult for people to be with themselves when they like what they see!

Meditation

The first step to friendliness is absolution. Train gentleness through meditation, little bylittle, forgiving yourself, your past, your mistakes, your sadness. Do it often, even for 5 minutes, but several times per day, so that you become accustomed to being alone and enjoying it. Discipline yourself to enjoy practicing gentleness. 

Confirming that I’m kind of a mess, gives me the starting point for untangle the mess. That way I can turn my energy to clear up the issues and begin to see the habits and patterns that rotten my mind and soul. Maybe you didn’t see yourself clearly before, your poverty mentality, always second-guessing yourself…could be the reasons why you were running away from yourself.  But the minute you understand the story you have been telling yourself, you can change the story. 

You can start to pull away from the malice, incorrigible, pattern and start writing your new, fresh, jovial, utopia-like, ideal life story! Train in acknowledging the kindness, to find your sense of humor and enjoy your heart , mind and body. Practice to support yourself and to learn more about your openness and vivacity. 

This can be very simple for anyone.The only thing you need to do is to just commit yourself to freeing yourself up for the friend living inside of you.