Tag Archives: my life

Missed Birthdays

For one day in a year, I become selfish. I want to have everyone call me, think of me, send me the warmest of wishes and love. I want my friends and family to make effort when choosing their words (and gifts) around me, and I want to be the happiest person in the world. Yes, it’s my birthday and I want to be the center of attention!

Every year I say that I will not make a big deal out of it. I’m not that young anymore, I don’t have that extra money to spend on one party, I just don’t feel like making a big fuss. But than the day comes and my best friends are the first to call and ask “So where is the party?”…and I have to have an answer. This year, it was so impromptu, that I just bought couple of bottles of gin and fresh mint and made the best mojito party there is! 

Yet, the next day you start thinking who did not came/call/wished(singed) “Happy Birthday”. Did they forgot? Have I forgot to call them? Should I have had invited them anyway? Should I call them now? Eventually, time goes by and you forget about these questions.

However, the time comes when they have their own special day. These days, with the notifications, Facebook or Skype is hard to forget or ignore someone’s birthday, but when you are doing a huge project, thoroughly immersed in the work,  or are out of the country, or life(and it counter part) just halts you in your every-day tasks,  these things happen!

I wished so many belated birthdays to friends and family members in the past few months, people start to wonder if I’ve become forgetful or ignorant! And the birthdays I miss the most are the ones of the great people of the history of the world, when I read a book by a famous writer (Victor Hugo, 26th of Feb Les Misérables or Charles Dickens, 7th of FebOliver Twist) or listen to great music (Mozart-27th January, Bob Marley-6th Feb, Norah Jones- 30th March, Marvin Gaye- 2nd April) or watched a great movie or documentary for an artist, scientists, sportist etc. 

I’ve missed so many events, birthdays, celebrations and moments of leisure and fun. Just now , looking back, I can see the sacrifice I have made. Sometimes you have to ask yourself if it is worth it. But for this…for now…I think it is.

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Something unusual

My daily routine is something I have been working on for years. I have made for myself morning and evening rituals, periods of the day when I would drink tea, or drink coffee, when I would eat lunch, call my parents and grandparents, walk my dog etc. Incorporating the time spent on work and study would fit always, as I have plan B and C for anything.

But this year I’ve decided to finish my studies as a transfer student, far faaar away from home. It took great deal of building up confidence, facing challenges and ex-professors, admin, people who said it was a waste of time, but I got through it all and stick with my idea for quite some time. So, my routine got a bit different since the beginning of this year. I wrote essays, edited, rewrote, searched scholarships, translated the documents and worked.

The last deadline for the last application was March 1st. I have worked so hard right until the deadline that I got lost the next week! Suddenly I had too much time on my hands and no to do lists for the day, the week even the month! And what happens when you have no to dos? You become depressed, you get stuck in your head, you make up the stories for the up-come of your work, your future, your past work, “What could I have done more? Should I have done this differently? Would they notice? Would they like me? “…. And the circle goes round and round.

But then, one day, you get an email telling you have your first acceptance! Unbelievable that is so soon, that much, that I forwarded the email to my family and my closes friends to ask them what it means! You see, my biggest problem is my lack of self-confidence. But once I get some recognition, I strive and reach higher then I would ever imagine before.

It was unusual to fall back from my routines and rituals for a whole month, but now it’s incredible unusual how easy it is for me to get back on track because of a motivation as little as an email!

Thank you University of San Francisco! You made my day, my week, my month and perhaps my year 🙂 I can now go to sleep knowing that I have many things to finish on my to-do list tomorrow 🙂 Good night everyone, thanks for reading 🙂