Tag Archives: routine

Something unusual

My daily routine is something I have been working on for years. I have made for myself morning and evening rituals, periods of the day when I would drink tea, or drink coffee, when I would eat lunch, call my parents and grandparents, walk my dog etc. Incorporating the time spent on work and study would fit always, as I have plan B and C for anything.

But this year I’ve decided to finish my studies as a transfer student, far faaar away from home. It took great deal of building up confidence, facing challenges and ex-professors, admin, people who said it was a waste of time, but I got through it all and stick with my idea for quite some time. So, my routine got a bit different since the beginning of this year. I wrote essays, edited, rewrote, searched scholarships, translated the documents and worked.

The last deadline for the last application was March 1st. I have worked so hard right until the deadline that I got lost the next week! Suddenly I had too much time on my hands and no to do lists for the day, the week even the month! And what happens when you have no to dos? You become depressed, you get stuck in your head, you make up the stories for the up-come of your work, your future, your past work, “What could I have done more? Should I have done this differently? Would they notice? Would they like me? “…. And the circle goes round and round.

But then, one day, you get an email telling you have your first acceptance! Unbelievable that is so soon, that much, that I forwarded the email to my family and my closes friends to ask them what it means! You see, my biggest problem is my lack of self-confidence. But once I get some recognition, I strive and reach higher then I would ever imagine before.

It was unusual to fall back from my routines and rituals for a whole month, but now it’s incredible unusual how easy it is for me to get back on track because of a motivation as little as an email!

Thank you University of San Francisco! You made my day, my week, my month and perhaps my year 🙂 I can now go to sleep knowing that I have many things to finish on my to-do list tomorrow 🙂 Good night everyone, thanks for reading 🙂  

Bedtime reminiscing

This entire summer I can not go to sleep unless I am “sedated” by movies or TV series until I drift off to crazy dreams. The thoughts of the past; the “way things were” are just overwhelming. The thoughts of depression, loneliness, empty life, meaningless, health problems, family problems, relationships problems…the list just goes on and on…

This is the first night that I actually said, NO MORE. I have no more willingness to dull my mind. There are problems in everyone’s life. You can not go forward, unless you face that you have problems. But laying in bad and watching everything there is to watch is just…contributing to the problems. The more you dull your mind, the more depressed, worthless and lonely you become.

I hope I'm never that wrong again

I have read a quote I have written in my diary over a year ago and it said: “You can only reach the top of the mountains you have faced with” That doesn’t mean that you have to reach all mountain tops, or that you can not back down from some mountains you just do not want to climb anymore. It just means that you have to choose your battles, but you have to stay fighting until the end of them!

reminiscing

Now, here is where the reminiscing part starts: The times I have fought and won! There aren’t any better bedtime stories, than the ones where you are the winner. The body-exercise victory and routine; the incredible bonds build with friends; the hard work done, along with the praise received afterwards, all the exams and studying that brought astonishing results; all the volunteering done for the well-being of people;  …

Dragon

You go to sleep feeling you can beat a dragon with one hand, doing your PhD with the other one. Than you begin imagining yourself climbing the mountains that you have left behind. Imagine the mountain top. The sun on your face. The wind blowing through you. Your red cheeks and nose; and your wised eyes…

Hope

I love that I have started hoping again. I know that it can be done, if I do the work. The job, the family, the relationships, but most importantly my health, everything can be improved. Just have to keep focused on those mountain tops while remembering the past victories for motivation to staying on the (up)right path.

Hope again faith healing fogiveness